Friday, August 29, 2008

The Genesis of a season


Jesus: has a tendency to call a draw on 3rd down.

In the end, Michigan State was wiped out by Memphis. Many wide stares were exchanged, and the people felt lost. The patrons drank their beers, tonics and whiskeys, and went out into the night. Thus ended the first month.

In the second month, a glimmer of hope radiated from the heavens for one Saturday afternoon, as football was played in the church. The leaders of the offenses were clad in red, and although the pews were not quite full, the people were glad for what they received. Thus ended the second month.

In the third month, the people began to look elsewhere for hope. The Tigers were lost, the Pistons were accomplished but haughty, and the Red Wings talented, but shaky. The people watched anyway, and saw the Tigers and Pistons descend, but the Red Wings arise. Also at this time, the people discovered that there is a limit to the amount of Boneless Buffalo Wild Wings you can eat, and that volumes of those should be kept to less than a hogshead. Thus ended the third month.

In the fourth month, the Wings won the Stanley Cup, and the people rejoiced. The Tigers still had not answered the people's prayers. There were many feats of individual achievement, especially by the prophets named Nadal and Woods. Even though the bars were full, the people's hearts were still empty. Thus ended the fourth month.

In the fifth month, the people languished. The Tigers had shown glimmers of hope, but continued to fall into the abyss. The sky was alit with red, light and, blue, but the people's hearts were still dark. Nevertheless, they did not despair, especially with many new conversions of the young people, holding oblong brown orgs, to play for the faith. Thus ended the fifth month.

In the sixth month, the people saw signs of activity. From near the church, whistles and shouts and Motown was blared. The town bustled. Surely, this was what they had been waiting for! Many long months, the people had waited, were patient, and finally, their prayers were about to be answered, even though the Tigers still sucked. The church was about to be filled again. Thus ended the sixth month.

In the seventh month, the people rested. It was the beginning.

Let there be light.


1 comment:

Dr Huxtable said...

That was an awesome post. Except for the tennis part, but hey, we can't all be perfect.