Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Welcome Freshmen, and other FB news

Freshmen move into the dorms @ MSU today, more on that later.

First off, there was a scrimmage on Sunday, which, by the coaching staff's arcane scoring system, the defense won by six points, 67-61. Here's what was up:


  • It looks like the TE problem may potentially be solved. Charlie Gantt had 4 catches for 68 yards and 2 TDs.

  • Greg Jones - still a manimal. Six tackles, three of them for losses. Don't let the man in the picture fool you, Jones is part eagle, part cat, which, now that I write that, is pretty much what a griffin is. So I guess Greg "The Griffin" Jones is apropos here.

  • The defense improved upon its showing in the previous scrimmage, with fewer long passes given up, and the front seven apparently created havoc at every turn. Of course, the tricky thing about scrimmages, is that if the defense looks good, the offense looks...


  • Not so good. As I previously said, the offensive line got wrecked by the defensive line, and it showed as no QB completed more than 50% of his passes during the scrimmage.
  • Also, the running game needs some work too, as the RBs average less than 3 yards a carry during the scrimmage. The silver lining to this cloud is that I think MSU was this bad last year in YPC during the scrimmages, and that turned out all right.

So there it is. I think the team's ready to give Cal a good game, and it helps that their starting LT is out. More on that next week, because it's Wednesday of Welcome Week, and that means...

Freshmen move into the dorms today. Having worked on campus all summer, it's always a shock to have campus populated just above a ghost town and below Fire Island during the winter. Of course, there's probably a few of you who still need to get to Sophomore status (like Walter. If you caught that reference, Don't Just Sit There and give yourself +100 COCKTAILS), but at least you know what's up. Freshmen, to have a good week, remember these three tips:

1. Getting into parties is pretty easy. If you're a girl, all you have to do is walk up and soak in the desperation from hordes of dudes who spent their summers drunk, smoking whatever was handed to them at Rothbury, and hooked up with the same hometown girl until August came around. They will be desperate. Milk them for all it's worth. If you're a guy, it's a little harder. You'll have to pay to get a cup, but it won't be more than $5 (Don't let anyone charge you more than $5 for a keg of lukewarm Busch Light. Don't get me wrong, you're a freshman, but you're better than that.). Or, if you really want to live the high life, find the nearest fraternity, and say these four words: "When. Does. Rush. Start.". Pin your dorm room address to your person, and prepare to drown in a tidal wave of Jager. That said:

2. Don't be the guy who thinks they can outdrink everyone at said party. You'll end up losing, because no matter how much you drank in high school, there's a guy who drank just as much plus the seven years it took him to get to his Senior year. So yeah, just relax on that.

3. If you get really hammered, walk back in a group. You'll look less like a drunk, and the East Lansing police get dollar signs when they see that. Once you make it back to campus in said group, if it's after 2 (which, if you're doing it right, it should be), find where you're at, call Night Owl @ (517) 432-8888, and they'll drive you back to your dorm, assuming you still have your dorm address pinned on you. If not, you're spending tonight trying to curl up in a booth at Denny's, which you're not bettter than.

Alright, I've dropped enough knowledge today. More later.

1 comment:

I'm Paul Keifer said...

Remind me to come down soon and prove #2 to someone in a varsity letter jacket with "ox" across the back.